Sunday, 15 July 2012

" Darrius ! Bangun ! Dah tengahari ni, kamu atas katil lagi ?!?! Apa nak jadi dengan kamu ni ? " That is what Darrius always hear every time before he wakes up in the morning, no , afternoon I guess. " Ye, I'm awake Maa. " Same goes to the answer.

After taking his bath, he took his bag located on his table that he always use as his study table. His green SAG bag is neatly placed beside his desktop. Before he managed to start his car's engine, he received a text message,

" Hey, If you are free this evening, can we hang out ? KLCC ? Thanks ! "

It is so obvious that Darrius is free in the evening, he doesn't have any class in the evening. Plus, KLCC is just few kilometres away from his college. He didn't reply the text. The engine was turned on.

After his class, he went to KLCC to meet his friend.

" I thought that you are not coming, why didn't you reply my text ? "

" Haih-,- , Aqila, I was driving. How can I even reply your text while I am driving ? "

" Well, at least you reply after you are not driving. "

" Aren't you grateful that I am here ? Else, I should go. There are things I need to settle in college "

" Okay okay, Alhamdulillah. Here's your ticket. We're going to watch Breaking Dawn Part II , and it's fine for you, too, right ? "

" I watch any movies as long as it does not touch about political issues and religious issues. That's a no-no for me "

" Yeah, I know. Since I've belanja you this ticket, buy us popcorn ? "

Honestly, I don't dare to continue this conversation but this conversation is normal until....

To be continued in Volume #2

what we could have been, 2:08 am.

Saturday, 14 July 2012

Assalamualaikum,

Recently, I've been through many things in life. Been through dramas, the ups and the downs. But what I learn from this is that I should keep on having my happy thoughts. As a result, the past of my happy moments appear in my dreams every night and that what makes me stronger day by day.

After ending last week's sunday with him, Faje texted me, asked me to call her so I decided to. We had a very long chat about everything. And I believe , this is the gift of a friend. Thanks to Capital H-I-M too!

Then, on Monday, classes were dismissed as early as 7.30 as there were an activity with this some kind of TV show called DIY @ Dengan Inovasi, Yo! about innovation kind of stuffs. The whole day without classes.

After that, everything goes as normal until Thursday. I woke up that evening after my Chemistry class and found out that my HTC One V has been stolen. I tried calming myself. Then, I told one of my dormmate about it and he told me that there was someone from the other Houses came in and linger around in my dorm. Maybe he was the one who took it. I put him in my suspected list. Alhamdulillah, after 2 hours of psychology moment with the suspect, he finally confessed and gave me back my phone without its simcard and the casing. He promised me to pay back for the casing that cost rm90 and the simcard for rm10.

On today's evening after Jumaat prayer, I went to Maxis Centre in Ipoh to report about my lost simcard and renew it back. After it has successfully been renewed, I sat at the chair and observe everyone in the Maxis Centre. Then, I caught this girl with her dad surveying for an iPhone 4S. She looked so happy and her dad, too ! I smiled at her and she saw it, she smiled back. I guess, seeing others smile makes me happy too.

Honestly, this week has been a harsh week for me. I've been through a deficit in my bank account. I spent a lot on food and beverages in school. I just don't know how to control it. Well, at least on Monday and Tuesday, I went for fasting and it was damn easy.

Now, I am looking forward for next week.

Cyberjaya, I wish you're mine,

Eyman Asyraf Masfazil

what we could have been, 1:32 am.

Saturday, 7 July 2012

Lately, people keep on asking me,

" kenapa kau emo , eyman ? "

" kau nampak macam moody je eyman "

" kenapa dengan muka kau ? Tak pernah nak senyum "

" eyman, kenapa kau dah jarang senyum ? "

" lately aku nampak kau moody je "

etc etc...

I just don't know. Moody ? Since ? Haih , I don't know what to say. Honestly, I am not me since the beginning of the week. And that particular incident made it worse. And what makes it worse is that I am losing the real me in the real life. I have not been me since ever. I just need someone to hear me out but that particular someone is the one who procrastinate it. And I guess, he made it worse when I exaggerated things about him. I just...

Maybe is just that I keep on listening to sad song and it affected my life, literally ? I am now listening to Free by Haley Reinhart and I guess it is a sad but overwhelming song. I just need the real me. I am lost. Terribly.

Am I just doing things for him and for her just to satisfy myself ? Is it ? I just don't know. I feel that I am fucking myself out. Felt like throwing my laptop out of the window. Felt like slapping my own face with my own bare hands. Felt like everything ! I HAVE NO LIFE. I HAVE NO MISSION. I HAVE NO VISION. I HAVE NO OBJECTIVE OF LIVING ANYMORE. I FELT LIKE I AM GOING TO DIE. I felt everything.

I should be gone by now.

i've been fucked by my own self,

Eyman Asyraf Masfazil

what we could have been, 9:50 pm.

what we could have been, 12:19 am.

Friday, 6 July 2012

Assalamualaikum,

So here's the Top 20 Songs That Have Always Been On Replay in my HTC One V.

#20

Song : Charlie Brown
Artist : Coldplay
Album : Mylo Xyloto

#19

Song : Anti-D
Artist : The Wombats
Album : This Modern Glitch

#18

Song : Marilyn Monroe
Artist : Nicki Minaj
Album : Pink Friday : Roman Reloaded

#17

Song : Rumour Has It
Artist : Adele
Album : 21

#16

Song : Set Fire To The Rain
Artist : Adele
Album : 21

#15

Song : Everything You're Not
Artist : Demi Lovato
Album : Here We Go Again

#14

Song : Don't Forget
Artist : Demi Lovato
Album : Don't Forget

#13

Song : Disaster
Artist : JoJo
Album : Disaster

#12

Song : Battlefield
Artist : Jordin Sparks
Album : Battlefield

#11

Song : Same Mistake
Artist : One Direction
Album : Up All Night

#10

Song : Glad You Came
Artist : The Wanted
Album : Glad You Came

#9

Song : Chasing The Sun
Artist : The Wanted
Album : Chasing The Sun

#8

Song : Starships
Artist : Nicki Minaj
Album : Pink Friday : Roman Reloaded

#7

Song : Tokyo (Vampires and Wolves)
Artist : The Wombats
Album : This Modern Glitch

#6

Song : Princess of China feat Rihanna and also Paradise
Artist : Coldplay
Album : Mylo Xyloto

#5

Song : Together
Artist : Demi Lovato
Album : Unbroken

#4

Song : As Long As You Love Me
Artist : Justin Bieber
Album : Believe

#3

Song : Give Your Heart A Break
Artist : Demi Lovato
Album : Unbroken

#2

Song : Wide Awake
Artist : Katy Perry
Album : Wide Awake ( Single )

#1

Song : Brokenhearted
Artist : Karmin
Album : Hello

specially from my phone,

Eyman Asyraf Masfazil

what we could have been, 11:29 pm.

In The Name Of Allah , the Most Gracious and The Most Beneficent

Assalamualaikum,

Today, I went to Sekolah Menengah Sains Tapah to enter this one competition with my team mates ( Fadhil , Emil and Hakim ) for the Karnival Pendidikan Kerjaya. Okay, I am not going to talk about it but I am going to post some pictures of us there and who we've met.

Here's the twin from Sekolah Menengah Sains Tun Syed Sheh Shahabudin. I can't recognize them but what I know is one's named as Farhan and the other twin is Firdaus. In this picture, Emil is with them.

And then comes to my turn to take a picture with the twins.

FINALLY, THE FOUR OF US. Hahahha

And this is Danial Aizam , so-called Opah. Yeah, we're in the same competition under the Folio Kerjaya section.

Some recaps of pictures of us having McDonald's after the carnival. The teacher paid for us. So yeah ^^

emo as we lost,

Eyman Asyraf Masfazil

what we could have been, 12:20 am.

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Things turn the same way as how I experience it. I know, you cared for me so much and I do care about you. But yeah , I guess , we are not meant to be together. I remembered once there was a guy in my life who told me that a bestfriend could never be in love. I never meant to hurt you but I have to back out from this kind of problem. I am sorry. I am terribly sorry. I know , you cared for me and you wanted this kind of decision too. I am not the type of guy who would make a girl cry , no , that is totally not me. Its okay, I understand your situation. I think , being single is cool enough for me. Know what, people are talking about me and you in my school. Honestly, I am proud of having you but since that I have no choice, I have to make my own decision. If you are reading this, then , its fine. I just want to back off so that you can live better. But you know, there's a risk in this. Everything might turn 180 degrees as I said. Everything might turn into an awkward situation. I don't want that to happen but that will always happen after any relationship. I am afraid of it too because you are so cool to me but when I am done paying you back the debts , I consider myself to back off from your life. I had to make this decision so that I can focus back into my reality in school. Sometimes, I do think about me and you but I just don't know. I am afraid of this, again because I don't want things to happen again in my future life. Well, if like this, I don't wanna be in any relationship lah.

Yes , Demi , you are right. So, to you, enjoy your life. I am backing off from your life so that you can live a better life. Thank you for being so caring to me. Thanks a lot! And hey, keep on debating ! Just, remember, if you have these kind of problems in your future, face it. If you are evading it, it will give a huge impact to your life and the 2nd person's life. Remember this :

All diamonds are the same but they are unique.

Thank you again. And hey, I am still you friend. Thank you ^^

honesty is my policy,

Eyman Asyraf Masfazil

what we could have been, 12:22 am.